The Balderdasher

How much I freaking hate snow?!?! There is more of it, and it is just like a white wall of horrible when I look out the window. So it's New Year's Eve, right? And I am meant to go to my friends house, but I'm not really in the mood for people, so I was going to stay home. And then I was like, maybe I'll go... BUT NO! Mother Nature has to fuck me over and make it snow, and because my windshield wipers are broken, I can't drive. Grr.



And my mother is making lobster bisque, and I am ordering Chinese, and I'm going to stay home and have a multi-cultural night. I will be eating Chinese, doing my AP Spanish homework, and be watching Burn After Reading. So yeah.



And, get this!



Last night, I had this dream that I was dating the actor who plays Prince Caspian X In Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Can we just note the fact that I'm gay? Yeah, I thought it was strange too. But I was like trying on this jersey from the soccer World Cup or whatever, when Spain won, and he was like talking to me about it. And then, I had two aunts instead of two uncles and one aunt, that was directly related to my mom. So instead of like Matt, Gordon, Nen, and my mum, it was my mum, Nen and this other red headed chick. And this red-head made my grandmother REALLY MAD, so Nammy decided to go out and pierce her tongue. We had like twelve dogs, and lived in a tavern, like we owned it. We had a freaking Great Dane for crying out loud! Well, we didn't have twelve dogs, more like five, but still! It's more than we actually have. they were all black too, even the GOLDEN Retriever. Hah. And this new aunt of mine had like a million and two piercings and worked as the bartender at our tavern. Mum and Christian were the cooks, Tori and I were waitresses, and Nen was the entertainment. And Nammy, well she funded the whole operation. And then at the very end, I find out that the red-head isn't really my aunt, but a FBI under-cover agent, and we are all .007 agents, and James Bond is my real father. I know, what the FUCK?!?!



Well, I am off to Wii and hate the snow.



Gr....


^^I will never, ever stop laughing when I look at this.

I know what you're thinking, "How in the world could a 17 year old be BORED, on vacation, when she can DRIVE?!" Well, I am. I have friends, but I don't see them. I have crushes, but I don't follow through with them. I have a car, but I'm too cheap to drive it everywhere and then have to put gas in it. I could be in the other room, playing Monopoly with the kids and my mother, but I feel like that Afrin commercial,(the woman who has mad terrible sinus problems, and her head has turned into a giant bear mascot head). I could be playing Wii, but it get a little bit boring after a while. I could dance dance dance my heart out, and get some new games, but I'm too lazy to put on a bra to do so...



So here I sit in this boring predicament. I could recreate another random ass blog like the monkey one. But, unfortunatley, I am at a loss of what to write about. So I went to my mother and asked her "What do I write about?". Her answer is "Monopoly... Wii ski jump." Well that is no help!! There are 21 versions of Monopoly. I'm baffled.

I'm going to play wii now. But here is a video for you!

Well, somebody told me to rant about socks, so here goes.

They are wamr, they are fuzzy, but christ are they annoying? They leave fuzz on your toes, and sweat on your soles, and stink in your nose! What are they? Nothing but socks! Yes, socks. Those things that you put on your feet, and pull a Tom Cruise and slide around singing and dancing in underwear and a button down.

Personally, I prefer the tall ones. Well, most of the time. In gym class, i like the peds, you know the ones that you can't really see past the lip of the sneaker? Yeah, but other than that, I am a fan of the tall riding socks. They might be slutty when worn with a skirt, but I like them under jeans, or when I'm hanging in my PJ's. And they are great for keeping your riding pants down under your half chaps. They come in handy, but they are also a dark and evil force. They mkae your feet smell. They leave fuzz EVERYWHERE. And, half of the time, they never have a match.

Now, I know it's not really their fault, it's the dryers or the washers. But seriously, could is just spit it back out every once and a while?? Or maybe on take like, every 13th sock? That would be nice. I would like that better. And I think mom's of the worlds would as well. Because, then their kids wouldn't be going to school with one green sock, and one bright pink. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I did it as a kid, and I totally encourage it.

And that's all that I have to say about socks.
OH! One more thing! I have shark socks.
And here is a video from a SOCK-puppet band. Uncle MonsterFace. Love them!

Okay, can we just talk about HOW MUCH SNOW there is on the ground. And how it is still falling from the sky. I mean, really!! It's cold, and frozen, and just will not stop falling from the sky. I am not to happy with Mother Nature at this current point in time. I want to go up to Snow Miser's palace in the sky and curse him to the firey pits of hell, so that he melts and all the snow goes away!! I just cannot stand it. And, my mother, (who is the only person that reads this...), said that it's not going to stop until the summer, which would suck massive elephant balls because that would mean it would be snowy in VT for camp. Becuase it won't ever thaw. We would go up in June, and there would be a MILLION FEET OF SNOW! The trails would be blocked and I would just end up being a oerforming arts couselor because there would be no horses for me to counsel campers with!!

Like the first night we had it, fine. It was pretty and at night, and we woke up and it was meant to look like Jack Frost sneezed on our lawns and look pretty and shit. But NO! We woke up and it was STILL snowing. And it hasn't stopped since it started. It is the most horendous thing. Like, it would be okay if the snow were pretty while it fell, like it was falling on a sunny day or whatever. But the weather has to be all crappy and cloudy and make winter look like icky nastiness. It just will not stop. It is cold, and the house is cold. And sure, the fashion for this time of year is alright. The scarves and hats, and gloves and mittens and cute jackets. Sure those are all okay, but I really hate the actual weather. DAMN YOU CHANNEL FIVE FOR PREDICTING A MASSIVE STORM!!! David Brown where are you when you when we need you to predict the wrong weather and then for it to actually come true?!

It is no fun being held up in the house, not able to drive. At least the dogs are cute in the snow. I might actually convince Christian to let me borrow his camera so I can take pictures of the puppies in the snow. Cause Neiks hates but love the snow, and Maddie is just in her black dog element. She is the cutest thing.

And now, here is my gift to you. It is a fabulous video, and if you don't watch all of it, I don't know why you even bother reading this. Because this is practically my motto. Haha. My dear friend and soon to be boss come the sumemr time, Mary, sent this to me. It was labeled "Happy Sunday", and I think that is the best thing I've ever seen.

I fucking hate you.
Love,
Ellie


I hate snow. I hate Mother Nature for pouring the white burden down upon my life. I just hate it. It it cold, and wet, and makes it hard to see. And it just won't stop falling from the sky. And I hate snow. I just hate it.

So, I don't know why I'm so bothered by it. Maybe it's because it's all I hear about, or maybe it's because I feel as though I've lost a friend, but I am just sick and tired of Emma and Tori. I just want them to realise that they aren't really gay, because god only know that Tori isn't really gay. And I'm not sure about Emma. But It's just annoying. Cause all I hear in the car anywhere we go is stories of Emma. "Emma did this... and Emma did this..." And it's like even more annoying because, and I know that she was T's friend first, but I defiantly lost Emma as a friend. I can't talk to her ever cause it's the same thing. And then, if i tell Tori that I had spoken to Emma, she's all like "ABOUT WHAT OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER THAT SHE NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT?!?!?!?!?!"


I dunno.


And I know that the entire rant from above is hypocritical because I did the same thing when I was dating Meg and Liam. But it just pisses me off because Tori drops her whole world whenever the first uttering of the name Emma is said. And I'm pretty sure that I never did that. Well, I now I did, but not to the extent that mi hermanita does. I dunno.


I made gingerbread cookies the other day. I'm going to post a picture of the moose that I made. It's German.


I'm listening to this song my Relient K called "Nancy Drew", and it's about how the lead singer has a crush on N.D.. Hahahahaha. Story of my life. And now I'm listening to "Be My Yoko Ono" by BNL.


Sam Doolittle moved. I'm thinking about sending her a virtual good-bye present of cranberry everything. Yeah....


Well, I'm out.
xx

So I'm sitting at school thinking about the INSANITY that just went down at my house. Well, not really my house, more the transformer that is on the telephone pole outside of my house.